Talking about playing favorites is a very sticky, deep, incredibly difficult topic. Many parents will vehemently and immediately deny that they tend to click “just a tad” bit better with one child over the other. Can you really have a favorite child? Parents may make excuses based on similar personality characteristics, like mom and youngest child are social butterflies and the middle one is more of a recluse book nerd. But still, is there a favorite?
There is no such thing as parenting each child the same. Every child is different. The situation in which the child was born, the family structure, life structure, the parent—are all different. Some children resonate more with one parent over the other. They may remind them of themselves when they were younger-bringing back happy feelings, or they may bring on a different temperament that does not jive with the rest of the crew. Some parents feel as though they can get along more easily with one child than with another.
We want to really pretend like our kids are oblivious to our feelings about them but, that’s just not the case. And the reality is that as parents we evolve and we raise our kids differently, despite being born in the same family. The situation- financial, geographical, family – are all different. But when parents act significantly different from one child versus the other well – it doesn’t turn out well. As you will read on in my article, as kids, we care SO MUCH about how our parents feel about us. So if you feel slighted by your parent because you are not living up to their expectations while your sibling is reveling in it, major psychological and emotional issues come up. Sibling rivalry, self-esteem issues, poor confidence in the parent-child relationship, and future issues with friendships and love life.
So, if you’re feeling like you have a favorite and wish to (re) connect with the other kids, contact me today so we can figure out a way to better understand and enjoy your children for who they are and how much they mean to you.