Guilt makes for a shitty disciplinarian
Tiger Mom to Loosey Goosey Disciplinarian This is for anyone who is a wishy-washy disciplinarian. It can be applied to your parenting, to your self-care, to work. Parents- If you issue a command and the ensuing thoughts are “ Pobrecita (poor little thing) or “But, I feel so bad!” Then,...
May is Mental Health Awareness Month
Every month should be mental health awareness month! Mental health awareness, I know, I am preaching to my choir. There’s a fine balance between fixating on problems and pretending they don’t exist. Problems are expected parts of life, how personally attacked you feel by these problems is, well, personal. Learning...
Can you get along with your mom on Mother’s Day
When you don't get along with your mom on Mother's Day Mother’s Day is a tough day for many women who have a strained relationship with their moms. The hoopla of the only day to commemorate the one who practically dedicates much of her time curating lists for each family...
Stepping Out of the Hamster Wheel
The Wheel Goes Round and Round... For many individuals involved in self-care and insight-oriented work, sometimes life feels like they’re on a hamster wheel, running as fast as they can only to land right back where they started. You reach a point in the therapy process where you’ve had significant...
Losing it!
How to get back after losing it???? You know the kind of day when you’re extra reactive and you feel like you are losing it every minute? Everything is incredibly overwhelming and you feel like you can’t stop because everything needs to get done and done right. Like you’re carrying...
Are your intentions good?
If your intentions are good, does that absolve you from the impact of your actions? You think your intentions are pure but are you using them as an excuse to do exactly what you want regardless of the impact? Fellow perfectionists, we love giving unsolicited advice because if you would...
Your brain is built for change, and change brings anxiety
Change is always happening. To successfully tame the anxious mind, it helps to know that neurological and behavioral changes take place in their brain and body. Anxiety finds a cushiony home in the “what if’s” of Negative-ville. So for many people, just knowing that while they’re consistently practicing different techniques...
The Possibilities of a Better Life Are Attainable
The Possibilities Really Are Endless *Trigger warning. Sensitive post. My focus on the neurological underpinnings of emotional and behavioral change is my bargaining chip when trying to show the possibilities of a better life to those who believe in therapy but who feel trapped, limited, ostracized, ridiculed by their past to...
Coherent Connection
Coherent Connection - Brain, Heart, Gut Did you know that you have coherent connection neurons not just in your brain but in your heart and your gut? 40,000 in the heart and 100,000 in the gut to be exact. Science has demonstrated that there is a back and forth connection...
HeartMath….do I need a calculator?
HeartMath....no tests, no calculator needed. HeartMath brings your physical, mental, and emotional systems into coherent alignment, you begin to experience increased access to your heart’s intuitive guidance. Tuning in to your heart’s wisdom creates a profound shift within that helps you approach situations with more emotional balance, compassion, clarity, and...
Hispana WoW: EL PERFECCIONISMO
Hispana WoW: Perfectionism - Accepting it in good faith. In this new episode of Hispana WoW, we bring you as a special guest Dr. Eva Benmeleh, @drevatherapy, Clinical Psychologist. Discussing how to accept perfectionism in good faith.My Dr. Eva Story I pursued a doctoral degree in clinical psychology and worked with...
Interview with Dr Marla from Zen Mind Space
Interview with Dr. Marla I’m Eva from DrEvaTherapy, my focus is on sorting out perfectionism. It really makes life much more challenging. I am interviewing Dr. Marla, who has been a great source of advice over the years for me. She is a holistic psychologist and relationship expert from Zen...
Dr. Eva’s Favorite Parenting Books
My Favorite parenting books! Books are an excellent resource for deeper knowledge and enlightenment. We all can use extra inspiration and insight and any kind of self-help book helps! Keep in mind that your work starts after you've finished the book and actually implement some of the suggestions you've read....
Savasana is in the minutes after therapy ends
I used to think that savasana was a waste of time. Savasana requires the practitioner to lay on the floor in stillness and relaxation for several minutes after having completed a yoga practice of poses of varying effort. Why would I lie there in silence when I could use those...
The Antidote to Rushing
Rushing Through Everything? Rushing gives away your power to the To-Do List taskmaster. Rushing is like living life as if some higher power other than you controls how you live your life. You believe that the more you rush, the more you get done and at some point, the need...
Pass over the judgment, please
Judgment for one, please... As a psychologist focusing on perfectionism, the topic of judgment and personal development is a big one. For many perfectionists, it is not only what aspects of themselves (or others) they wish to improve, but the way they accomplish these goals also takes up a big...
Am I Really Asking Too Much?
But, I am really not asking for that much. Do you feel you are asking too much? Parents around the globe inevitably end with this statement when their child scoffs at their request to help with chores. And, usually, the parent proceeds to complete the task they asked their child...
Perfectionism is Narcissism
What came First - Perfectionism or Narcissism? Don’t hate me. It’s taken me two years to say this out loud (I’m working on my people-pleasing). Perfectionism is narcissism. I know, perfectionists tend to feel like their tendencies are to improve the lives of everyone in their life. Their advice based...
Lovebirds and Love
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you lovebirds. Darling, heartthrob, lover, paramour, beloved, flame, truelove, significant other... ok lovebirds what do you call your romantic partner? How do we expect our partner to court us? How do we expect to be treated on a holiday about love when it’s really...
Expectations are Sneaky and Sinister
The Expectations Creep Expectations creep up on you when you are surprised, shocked, or angered by what’s coming at you in the present moment. Whenever you are reacting to what reality is showing you, you are reacting to how things, people, events should be according to you and not as...
Dr. Eva’s Favorite Self-Help Books
My Favorite Self-Help Books Self-help books are awesome when in combo with speaking with a guide, therapist, coach, or mentor. They offer incredible insights into our own journeys and throughout the years I have found solace and support from the following books and wanted to share. When you’re going through a...
I just want my kid to be happy
Happy, Happier, Happiest. I cringe inside when I hear this statement from well-meaning parents. My usual retort is, “ Who is happy all of the time?” Parents don’t have an answer because no one is always happy all the time. The intent is to do right by their kids, to...
Every challenge has its challenges
Why is a challenge so challenging? We embark on a new workout routine. We expand our job description or search for a new career. Cope with a health scare or condition. We end a relationship or start a new one, move town, etc. Every challenge has its own set of...
Accountability is in my cup of coffee
Venti with almond milk and a splash of accountability, please! Accountability is brewed together with perfectionism. This morning I decided to sleep in - 6:51 AM instead of 5:30 AM as usual. Mornings with my kids start around 7ish. My first thought when I woke up was “I am taking...