Blog by Dr. Eva Therapy

drevatherapy self-help books

Dr. Eva’s Favorite Self-Help Books

My Favorite Self-Help Books Self-help books are awesome when in combo with speaking with a guide, therapist, coach, or mentor. They offer incredible insights into our own journeys and throughout the years I have found solace and support from the following books and wanted to share. When you’re going through a...

drevatherapy happy

I just want my kid to be happy

Happy, Happier, Happiest. I cringe inside when I hear this statement from well-meaning parents. My usual retort is, “ Who is happy all of the time?” Parents don’t have an answer because no one is always happy all the time. The intent is to do right by their kids, to...

drevatherapy challenge

Every challenge has its challenges

Why is a challenge so challenging? We embark on a new workout routine. We expand our job description or search for a new career. Cope with a health scare or condition. We end a relationship or start a new one, move town, etc. Every challenge has its own set of...

drevatherapy accountability

Accountability is in my cup of coffee

Venti with almond milk and a splash of accountability, please! Accountability is brewed together with perfectionism. This morning I decided to sleep in - 6:51 AM instead of 5:30 AM as usual. Mornings with my kids start around 7ish. My first thought when I woke up was “I am taking...

drevatherapy predictability

Perfectionism is an idealized form of predictability

Can You Plan Predictability? You know how it goes. If it’s perfectly planned out then it’s bound to happen just like so, right? Perfectionists are detail-oriented and super planners. Their research skills on hypothetical scenarios are akin to NASA level scientists. I kid but for some perfectionists, this is a...

drevatherapy hindsight

Hindsight is 20/20

Hindsight in the Year 2020 When I thought about writing this post back in February, never could I have imagined what hindsight was going to be about. It gives a whole new depth to the saying Hindsight is 2020. As I reflect back on this year, I learned how much...

drevatherapy burnout

When doing your best leads to burnout

Burnout is a Slow Burn For perfectionists, the saying “ do your best” is a rabbit hole statement. To begin with, perfectionists tend to have unrealistically high expectations, so “doing your best” can send them off the deep end of overdoing, overscheduling, overextending themselves leading to burnout. Burnout leads to...

drevatherapy holiday presents

Being present for your holiday presents

Holiday Presents, Lists, Schedules. The holiday season is here. You can’t hide from the lists and checklists to prepare. Websites and newspapers offering their top recipe lists, the top 2020 gift lists, List for teacher gifts, coworker gift list, family and friends gifts list. Lists are everywhere and they create...

drevatherapy Perfectionist

Perfectionist 4-letter words that are uncomfortable

Perfectionist Chalkboard Effect These four-letter words can sound like nails on a chalkboard for a perfectionist. Help - Perfectionist needs help? What? That is an insult. Perfectionists can do it all by themselves without the slightest hint of needing help. Fail - Anything not done to perfection, with help, with...

drevatherapy divorced

Divorced Mom Holiday Life

Divorced mom life during the holiday season can be a challenge. Last year, my kids spent their first Thanksgiving with their father since the divorce, and I visited my friends in Tampa. It was a surreal experience to spend THE family holiday waking up to watch cartoons with my friend’s...

drevatherapy mother

I sound just like my mother!!

Am I turning into my mother? Do you say something to your kids and think, wait a minute am I turning into my mother? You might think this is a good or a bad thing. In my practice, I see two types of parents. Those who want to parent their...

drevatherapy nada

No Pasa Nada

Nothing is Happening In Spanish, there is a saying that goes, “no pasa nada,” which literally means, “nothing is happening, or nothing happened” translated to “don’t worry about it” or let’s pretend what just happened, didn’t. We say this a lot to our kids when they get stuck on something,...

drevatherapy compassion

Self-compassion is a foundational

Self-compassion is a Foundational Part of Well-Being It is the opposite of self-criticism and in trying times like this year, it is crucial that we develop and practice self-compassion every day, every moment, every second basis. Some people (ahem perfectionists) believe that self-compassion is a copout because the inner critic...

drevatherapy cookie

My Sticky Cookie Jar Situation

Who took the cookies from the cookie jar? Do you have a cookie jar lurking in your kitchen? I have to admit that whenever I don’t schedule “me” time and I overbook my life with work, my kids’ schedules and activities, housework, and managing my business, I snack on cookies....

drevatherapy parents redfin

17 Solutions for Home-working Parents

17 Solutions for Working From Home and Parenting Dr. Eva was featured in a Redfin article for ParentsNovember 3, 2020, by Julia WeaverThe pandemic has demanded adaptability and our typical routines have been flipped upside down. Many families are now spending more time together than ever. Parents are now working...

drevatherapy Chameleons

Chameleons don’t have boundaries.

I’ll elaborate. Chameleons don’t have boundaries. Chameleons change colors to adapt to their environment.  In fact, it is the lighting on their skin that darkens or lightens depending on their level of stress, mood, and temperature. When feeling threatened, chameleons become invisible to blend in with the environment. In humans,...

drevatherapy meditation

Dr. Joe Dispenza’s Meditation Retreat

My Meditation Retreat Last September I attended my first meditation retreat at Niagara Falls, NY. Led by Dr. Joe Dispenza where approximately 1,800 attendees joined for a week of daily meditation. It was a surreal experience and honestly, I was a bit embarrassed to tell my family and friends that...

drevatherapy eva third

Eva’s Third Person Phenomenon

Eva wants to go down in history for one thing. Eva wants to end the speaking in third person phenomenon that afflicts parents worldwide. “Mommy would like you to put your shoes on” “Mommy is very upset”. Moms say it like it’s no big deal. But imagine we are taking and...

drevatherapy change

Fall is a Time of Reflection and Change

Change is Coming. Welcome to Fall Season. You can feel it in the air, a change is coming. We look forward to harvesting the hard work we’ve put in throughout the year and letting go of that which no longer serves us. It is the moment to reflect and embrace...

drevatherapy timestamp

Timestamp.

Timestamp. It’s complicated. I’m in the line of work that talks about feelings. The good, the bad, the ugly. How often do we just want to get past the ugly ones and focus on the pretty shiny ones? Wouldn’t it be nice? Whenever we experience a difficult event in life,...

drevatherapy multitasking

Multitasking is a lie, sorry it is.

Multitasking is a lie. I know we would really like to believe it’s true because I bet most of us are doing a whole lot of that lately. But, the reality is that multitasking is really our mind switching from one task to the next ever so quickly that you...

drevatherapy messy

The Messy House and Keeping Up Syndrome

Messy House? Keeping up? Planning Activities? Ok, straighten your messy bun, pour a cup of coffee, read on. Many people fall into the trap of thinking that since they are home more often now, chores should be a breeze. However, what they don’t take into consideration is the amount of...

drevatherapy balance

Virtual schooling and work/life balance. 

Is Balance Really Possible? For those of us who look for balance and struggle to set boundaries, this moment will be a great lesson. Life at home feels like one long run-on sentence where everything sort of makes sense but by the end of it, you’re exhausted and you don’t...

drevatherapy prevention

World Suicide Prevention Day

Perfectionism is a risk factor for suicide. Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Perfectionism is a leading risk factor for suicide and suicidal thoughts. Living life with shame and constant blaming oneself for life’s shortcomings leads to low self-esteem and self-worth. Perfectionists tend to hold themselves to such high and...