Am I Really Asking Too Much?
But, I am really not asking for that much. Do you feel you are asking too much? Parents around the globe inevitably end with this statement when their child scoffs at their request to help with chores. And, usually, the parent proceeds to complete the task they asked their child...
Perfectionism is Narcissism
What came First - Perfectionism or Narcissism? Don’t hate me. It’s taken me two years to say this out loud (I’m working on my people-pleasing). Perfectionism is narcissism. I know, perfectionists tend to feel like their tendencies are to improve the lives of everyone in their life. Their advice based...
Lovebirds and Love
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you lovebirds. Darling, heartthrob, lover, paramour, beloved, flame, truelove, significant other... ok lovebirds what do you call your romantic partner? How do we expect our partner to court us? How do we expect to be treated on a holiday about love when it’s really...
Expectations are Sneaky and Sinister
The Expectations Creep Expectations creep up on you when you are surprised, shocked, or angered by what’s coming at you in the present moment. Whenever you are reacting to what reality is showing you, you are reacting to how things, people, events should be according to you and not as...
Dr. Eva’s Favorite Self-Help Books
My Favorite Self-Help Books Self-help books are awesome when in combo with speaking with a guide, therapist, coach, or mentor. They offer incredible insights into our own journeys and throughout the years I have found solace and support from the following books and wanted to share. When you’re going through a...
I just want my kid to be happy
Happy, Happier, Happiest. I cringe inside when I hear this statement from well-meaning parents. My usual retort is, “ Who is happy all of the time?” Parents don’t have an answer because no one is always happy all the time. The intent is to do right by their kids, to...
Every challenge has its challenges
Why is a challenge so challenging? We embark on a new workout routine. We expand our job description or search for a new career. Cope with a health scare or condition. We end a relationship or start a new one, move town, etc. Every challenge has its own set of...
Accountability is in my cup of coffee
Venti with almond milk and a splash of accountability, please! Accountability is brewed together with perfectionism. This morning I decided to sleep in - 6:51 AM instead of 5:30 AM as usual. Mornings with my kids start around 7ish. My first thought when I woke up was “I am taking...
Perfectionism is an idealized form of predictability
Can You Plan Predictability? You know how it goes. If it’s perfectly planned out then it’s bound to happen just like so, right? Perfectionists are detail-oriented and super planners. Their research skills on hypothetical scenarios are akin to NASA level scientists. I kid but for some perfectionists, this is a...
What is therapy anyway?
Real Therapy Are you thinking about therapy? Did you grow up thinking that there’s something wrong with you. Your parents sometimes treat you in rude and disrespectful ways and they later explain that they are overwhelmed or tired or they blame it on you. You learn to accept that being...
Hindsight is 20/20
Hindsight in the Year 2020 When I thought about writing this post back in February, never could I have imagined what hindsight was going to be about. It gives a whole new depth to the saying Hindsight is 2020. As I reflect back on this year, I learned how much...
When doing your best leads to burnout
Burnout is a Slow Burn For perfectionists, the saying “ do your best” is a rabbit hole statement. To begin with, perfectionists tend to have unrealistically high expectations, so “doing your best” can send them off the deep end of overdoing, overscheduling, overextending themselves leading to burnout. Burnout leads to...
Being present for your holiday presents
Holiday Presents, Lists, Schedules. The holiday season is here. You can’t hide from the lists and checklists to prepare. Websites and newspapers offering their top recipe lists, the top 2020 gift lists, List for teacher gifts, coworker gift list, family and friends gifts list. Lists are everywhere and they create...
Perfectionist 4-letter words that are uncomfortable
Perfectionist Chalkboard Effect These four-letter words can sound like nails on a chalkboard for a perfectionist. Help - Perfectionist needs help? What? That is an insult. Perfectionists can do it all by themselves without the slightest hint of needing help. Fail - Anything not done to perfection, with help, with...
Divorced Mom Holiday Life
Divorced mom life during the holiday season can be a challenge. Last year, my kids spent their first Thanksgiving with their father since the divorce, and I visited my friends in Tampa. It was a surreal experience to spend THE family holiday waking up to watch cartoons with my friend’s...
I sound just like my mother!!
Am I turning into my mother? Do you say something to your kids and think, wait a minute am I turning into my mother? You might think this is a good or a bad thing. In my practice, I see two types of parents. Those who want to parent their...
No Pasa Nada
Nothing is Happening In Spanish, there is a saying that goes, “no pasa nada,” which literally means, “nothing is happening, or nothing happened” translated to “don’t worry about it” or let’s pretend what just happened, didn’t. We say this a lot to our kids when they get stuck on something,...
Self-compassion is a foundational
Self-compassion is a Foundational Part of Well-Being It is the opposite of self-criticism and in trying times like this year, it is crucial that we develop and practice self-compassion every day, every moment, every second basis. Some people (ahem perfectionists) believe that self-compassion is a copout because the inner critic...
My Sticky Cookie Jar Situation
Who took the cookies from the cookie jar? Do you have a cookie jar lurking in your kitchen? I have to admit that whenever I don’t schedule “me” time and I overbook my life with work, my kids’ schedules and activities, housework, and managing my business, I snack on cookies....
17 Solutions for Home-working Parents
17 Solutions for Working From Home and Parenting Dr. Eva was featured in a Redfin article for ParentsNovember 3, 2020, by Julia WeaverThe pandemic has demanded adaptability and our typical routines have been flipped upside down. Many families are now spending more time together than ever. Parents are now working...
Chameleons don’t have boundaries.
I’ll elaborate. Chameleons don’t have boundaries. Chameleons change colors to adapt to their environment. In fact, it is the lighting on their skin that darkens or lightens depending on their level of stress, mood, and temperature. When feeling threatened, chameleons become invisible to blend in with the environment. In humans,...
Dr. Joe Dispenza’s Meditation Retreat
My Meditation Retreat Last September I attended my first meditation retreat at Niagara Falls, NY. Led by Dr. Joe Dispenza where approximately 1,800 attendees joined for a week of daily meditation. It was a surreal experience and honestly, I was a bit embarrassed to tell my family and friends that...
Eva’s Third Person Phenomenon
Eva wants to go down in history for one thing. Eva wants to end the speaking in third person phenomenon that afflicts parents worldwide. “Mommy would like you to put your shoes on” “Mommy is very upset”. Moms say it like it’s no big deal. But imagine we are taking and...
Fall is a Time of Reflection and Change
Change is Coming. Welcome to Fall Season. You can feel it in the air, a change is coming. We look forward to harvesting the hard work we’ve put in throughout the year and letting go of that which no longer serves us. It is the moment to reflect and embrace...