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Author: drevabenmeleh

Your Journey to a Fulfilling Life

drevabenmeleh

drevabenmeleh

  • No more New Year’s Resolutions, please! Are you walking into the new year looking forward to new beginnings in 2022?

    New Year, New You? Pshh

    READ ARTICLE
  • Being a divorced mom during the holiday season can be a challenge, here is how I managed this extra stress in my life this year.

    Divorced Mom Holiday Life

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  • Gratitude is a topic everyone grapples with on one level or another, perfectionists, in particular, have a difficult time both with receiving and giving.

    Levels of Gratitude

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  • Hypnotherapy, Somatic Healing, Psychology & Emotional Body Release – Interview w/ Marc Di Maggio

    READ ARTICLE
  • Do you find yourself in situations throughout your life where you feel unheard, misinterpreted, rejected, criticized, then therapy might be for you.

    What is therapy anyway?

    READ ARTICLE
  • Perfectionists try so hard to fit in and do right by everyone because we feel responsible for being the black sheep. Not because we are a disgrace, but because we are misunderstood.

    Are Perfectionists Black Sheep In Disguise?

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  • Toxic Conformity Is Damaging Your Health And Well-Being. Imagine if we substituted papercuts for emotional jabs we receive daily.

    How Toxic Conformity Is Damaging Your Health And Well-Being

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  • Darling, heartthrob, lover, paramour, beloved, flame, truelove, significant other, ok lovebirds, what do you call your romantic partner?

    Lovebirds and Love

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  • The following factors can play a key role in the development of anxiety in someone with strong perfectionistic traits. 

    How Perfectionism Relates to Anxiety Disorders

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  • Have you ever wondered why perfectionists hate pets? The stench, the mess, the extra planning, or is the taking care of and lack of control?

    Why do many perfectionists hate pets?

    READ ARTICLE
  • If you are talking about money with your kids and taking it personally as an attack on your ability to provide for your family, sit down and take a seat.

    How to Talk to Kids About Money

    READ ARTICLE
  • Can feel it in the air? As the season changes, it is the moment to reflect and embrace the change. Plan on what’s to come.

    Fall is a Time of Reflection and Change

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  • Therapy can show the possibilities of a better life to those who feel trapped, and they cannot fathom a life worth living.

    The Possibilities of a Better Life Are Attainable

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  • HeartMath brings your physical, mental, and emotional systems into alignment, you begin to experience increased access to your heart’s intuitive guidance.

    HeartMath… do I need a calculator?

    READ ARTICLE
  • Dr. Marla introduced to me the notion of feminine/masculine energy which blew my mind. I didn't learn it in graduate school, yet it makes so much sense.

    Interview with Dr Marla from Zen Mind Space

    READ ARTICLE
  • Burnout leads to frustration, doubt, and at times resentment for never finding the finish line and feeling like nothing is good enough.

    When doing your best leads to burnout

    READ ARTICLE
  • If these words give you a negative reaction, then you might be a perfectionist and you may be suffering from anxiety and depression.

    Perfectionist 4-letter words that are uncomfortable

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  • In Spanish, there is a saying, “no pasa nada,” which literally means, “nothing is happening, or nothing happened” translated to “don’t worry about it”.

    No Pasa Nada

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  • It is crucial that we develop and practice self-compassion every day, every moment. Understanding that despite all of your wishes, you aren’t perfect.

    Self-compassion is a foundational

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  • Before you judge or placate, hear me out. By no means am I saying that eating a cookie is wrong, or if I was snacking on celery it would that make it right?

    My Sticky Cookie Jar Situation

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  • Many families are now spending more time together. Parents are working from home, school and daycare closings are forcing kids indoors.

    17 Solutions for Home-working Parents

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  • Eva wants to go down in history for one thing. Eva wants to end the speaking in third person phenomenon that afflicts parents worldwide.

    Eva’s Third Person Phenomenon

    READ ARTICLE
  • Timestamp, after that period is up, we think the emotions and thoughts associated with this event are resolved and will vanish into thin air.

    Timestamp.

    READ ARTICLE
  • Reality is that multitasking is our mind switching from one task to the next ever so quickly that you believe it is occurring simultaneously, but it’s not.

    Multitasking is a lie, sorry it is.

    READ ARTICLE
  • Ok, straighten your messy bun, pour a cup of coffee, read on. Many people fall into the trap of thinking that since they are home chores should be a breeze.

    The Messy House and Keeping Up Syndrome

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  • Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Perfectionism is a leading risk factor for suicide. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 800-273-8255

    World Suicide Prevention Day

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  • Mommy Guilt. I hear it from everyone these days, it feels like you're juggling 50 pound balls- individual demands and mother roles.

    Guilt Ridden Decisions Lead to Compassion Fatigue

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  • Even though our energies and attention are devoted to our own little human beings- this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and isolation creeps in.

    Isolation and other Motherhood Goodies

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  • How often do you feel gung-ho about making a change in your life? Learning new skills takes time, like me and tennis. It's all a process.

    What do tennis and therapy have in common?

    READ ARTICLE
  • Kintsugi is a Japanese method of repairing porcelain pottery with gold it highlights the cracks instead of disguising them.

    Welcome to the Kintsugi show!

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  • Anxiety can feel like falling through a rabbit hole. One hypothetical situation leads to another and before you know it, you’ve planned a grim future.

    Spiraling Staircase Anxiety Keeps Moving

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  • Mantras are a word or string of words stated repetitively to get you centered and grounded. To get you out of that frazzled out of control state.

    Mantras are a girl’s best friend

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  • Quarantine life can feel like Groundhog Day. Same old, same old. And for those who are co-parenting during this time, it can be melancholy.

    Parenting like it’s Groundhog Day

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  • It could always be worse.” Followed up by “It is what it is.” So it’s bad, but it could be terrible and let’s just accept the bad?

    Well, it could always be worse

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  • Setting boundaries is tough, it goes against every illogical story we have been fed since we were little, we've been taught speaking your truth is trouble.

    Boundaries!!

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  • White lies are an attempt to stall the consequences of the truth. Do we have to swallow our true feelings to please the other person?

    White lies are more harmful than you think. 

    READ ARTICLE
  • Managing your emotions with compassion is the key to personal growth. When I am going through a difficult moment in my life, I criticize my reaction.

    Managing Your Emotions with Compassion

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  • Let’s commemorate the father's who try to speak up about big feelings with their kids. Dads, you may not realize how much your words mean to your kids.

    Father’s advice, don’t keep the stone in your throat.

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  • Everything is not fine. Are there some positives to this situation? It’s the perfect mindset to pummel through any difficult situation.

    It’s fine.

    READ ARTICLE
  • Do you have a love-hate relationship with your to-do list? During my perfectionism pre-recovery, I hailed the “To-Do List” as my all-knowing guidance.

    Your TO-DO List

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  • Motherhood is historically rooted in power and duress. Mothers don't have any more control over their child’s life than they do of their own.

    The Motherhood Fallacy

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  • I love the book series Little People, BIG DREAMS, and I had the honor and privilege to interview the author, Isabel Sanchez Vegara.

    Part 2 Little People, BIG DREAMS

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  • book series Little People, BIG DREAMS,

    Part 1 Promoting Girl Power-Little People, BIG DREAMS

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  • As a “recovering perfectionist” my aim in life is to make everything nice for everyone, but by fixing their problems, I rob them of life skills.

    Learn the Recovering Perfectionist Skills

    Recovering Perfectionist As a “recovering perfectionist” my aim in life [...]

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  • Dads, on this Father’s Day, I want to commemorate you. I want to thank you for taking the time to learn about being a parent.

    Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads!

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  • Alone on Mother’s Day

    Alone on Mother’s Day

    READ ARTICLE
  • sorry not sorry

    Baby, I’m sorry … I’m not sorry!

    READ ARTICLE
  • Your child didn't score gifted, be happy!

    Your child didn’t score gifted, be happy!

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  • Babies are aware of stress since their first few months of life. They read cues from their caregivers to learn the ways of the world.

    Does Stress Really Affect Babies?

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  • Too much praise is killing our kids’ self esteem

    READ ARTICLE

  • Five Tips on Staying Calm Instead of Flipping Out

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  • We can take stock of this year and analyze what we will carry with us as we cross the bridge to the new year.

    Bridging the Gap

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  • I attended my first meditation retreat lat year in Niagara Falls, led by Dr. Joe Dispenza, approx. 1,800 attendees joined for a week of daily meditation.

    Dr. Joe Dispenza’s Meditation Retreat

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  • There are self-help books on every topic imaginable, but do they really help? Or do they just provide a temporary fix?

    Why do self-help books not really help much at all?

    READ ARTICLE
  • Had I not delt with my internal conflict and was clear on my decision, I would have been swayed by all of those comments.

    How to Deal with the Internal Conflict of Wanting to be Everything to Everyone

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  • Did you know that it is scientifically proven that our heart emanates a magnetic field several feet away from the body?

    How HeartMath and Therapy go Hand in Hand

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  • How do you talk to your children about the school shooting in Texas when you don’t have a clear solution yourself? 

    Talking to Your Children About the School Shooting

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  • Someone asked me why a psychologist who works on anxiety and perfectionism wrote a book about divorce, no less for children?

    What does divorce have to do with perfectionism?

    READ ARTICLE
  • A perfectionist’s inner child is that combination of a fun-loving Freebird and an apprehensive minion trying to steer clear from any trouble.

    The inner child of the perfectionist

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  • What is the inner child and does it really exist? Do we carry feelings from our childhood with us throughout our life?

    What is the inner child?

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  • Not all perfectionists are doomed for romance fails, but this main type of perfectionist has it the worst.

    Beware of Dating a Perfectionist

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  • Perfectionists can get involved in rocky relationships because they are doubtful of their performance in comparison to others.

    “You complete me” and other romantic fallacies

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  • Take the quiz to find out if you're more likely to have perfectionism because you have these personality traits.

    Perfectionism and Personality Traits

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  • As a perfectionist, you may wonder about the specifics of it all, because not all perfectionists are created equal.

    What kind of a perfectionist am I anyway?

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  • Did you know that some personality traits lend themselves more easily to perfectionism than others? Do you have these traits?

    Do you have what it takes to be a perfectionist?

    So, do you have what it takes to be a [...]

    READ ARTICLE
  • How do you talk to your children about the school shooting in Texas when you don’t have a clear solution yourself? 

    Peacemaker or Pacemaker?

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  • At the beginning of my perfectionism awareness journey, someone said to me, “You lack gratitude.” I was shocked.

    Gratitude As A Perfectionist

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  • Byproducts of toxic conformity look like you’re making changes, but really, you’re digging yourself deeper into the hole.

    Byproducts Of Toxic Conformity

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  • Why do we hide from our feelings? The hope is that the more we analyze the more we disintegrate them until they disappear.

    How To Stop Hiding From Your Feelings

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  • Perfectionism is a mask we wear to hide the parts of us we are ashamed of showing to the outside world, and sometimes, even to ourselves.

    The Mask Of Perfectionism

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  • The resistance to accept love shows up in everyday situations. Are you comfortable receiving and relishing love from others?

    You can dish it, but can you take it?

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  • Wasting time can take a toll on us perfectionists and sometimes we instill that fear on our children. But what if we were to focus on the here and now?

    Wasted Time: A Perfectionist’s Worst Fear

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  • These eleven behaviors are complete wastes of your time, especially if you’re a perfectionist in search of the ultimate life.

    Stop Wasting Time With These 11 Behaviors

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  • Five ways to strategically delegate tasks, save time, and reclaim your power to avoid breaking points when dealing with every day situations.

    Five Situations To Reclaim Your Power

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  • Postpartum depression can rear its ugly head when you least expect it. Even I, a psycohologist, has gone through it. But it gets better!

    Postpartum Depression with your second child

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  • When a perfectionist uses research to prove a point and justify their lifestyle, it circumnavigates the notion that what they feel and want is valid.

    Research Is The Perfectionist’s Scapegoat

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  • Perfectionism is an emotional development which begins at an early age that has been stunted by the coping skills of past generations.

    Emotional Immaturity Leads To Perfectionism in Children

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  • When time slows down, and impatience speeds up, nothing else matters. Our community becomes a shoulder to lean on and connection is our support.

    Death And Connection Is Support

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  • As a perfectionist, the fear isn’t so much in the mistake, it lies in fearing not being loved or accepted anymore by the important people in their life. 

    The Fear Of Making A Mistake As A Perfectionist

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  • When our community suffered from a disastrous event with the collapse of Champlain Tower in Surfside, I was in total disbelief and wanted to lend a hand.

    Lending A Hand During A Disastrous Event

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  • Oftentimes, the other parent feels like they always fall short of the perfectionist’s expectations and everything they do is wrong.

    Different Doesn’t Always Mean Wrong

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  • Mother’s Day is a tough day for women who have a strained relationship with their moms, and believe that adulthood holds the mom-opinion expiration date.

    Can you get along with your mom on Mother’s Day?

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  • For many individuals sometimes life feels like they’re on a hamster wheel, running as fast as they can only to land right back where they started.

    Stepping Out of the Hamster Wheel

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  • Every month should be mental health awareness month! It is a work in progress based on your consumption of ideas, foods, music, exercise, and relationships.

    May is Mental Health Awareness Month

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  • Many parents complain that their kids don’t have the stamina, drive, grit, or the motivation to get things done. But are they being a good disciplinarian?

    Guilt makes for a shitty disciplinarian 

    READ ARTICLE
  • You know the kind of day when you’re extra reactive, you feel like you are losing it every minute and everything is incredibly overwhelming?

    Losing it!

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  • To successfully tame the anxious mind, it helps to know that a neurological and behavioral change takes place in their brain and body.

    Your brain is built for change, and change brings anxiety

    READ ARTICLE
  • Did you know that you have coherent connection neurons not just in your brain but in your heart and your gut? 40,000 in the heart and 100,000 in the gut!

    Coherent Connection

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  • You think your intentions are pure but are you using them as an excuse to do exactly what you want regardless of the impact?

    Are your intentions good?

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  • Rushing gives away your power to the To-Do List taskmaster. It is like living life as if some higher power other than you controls how you live your life.

    The Antidote to Rushing

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  • savasana-is-in-the-minutes-after-therapy-ends

    Savasana is in the minutes after therapy ends

    READ ARTICLE
  • Perfectionism is narcissism. Perfectionists tend to feel like their tendencies are to improve the lives of everyone in their life.

    Perfectionism is Narcissism 

    READ ARTICLE
  • The topic of judgment and personal development is a big one, unrealistic expectations and judgments that muddle the clarity of getting closer to your goal.

    Pass over the judgment, please

    READ ARTICLE
  • Expectations creep up on you when you are surprised, shocked, or angered by the present moment. Expectations are just a fantasy concocted by your mind.

    Expectations are Sneaky and Sinister

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  • Am I really asking too much? I give you everything you ever ask and ALL I ask of you is [insert chore] and you NEVER do it.

    Am I Really Asking Too Much?

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  • Perfectionists are detail-oriented and super planners and along with the desire for predictability comes the pressure to make it happen.

    Perfectionism is an idealized form of predictability

    READ ARTICLE
  • Who is happy all of the time? Parents don’t have an answer because no one is always happy all the time. But how do we give our kids, the best options?

    I just want my kid to be happy

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  • Chameleons don’t have boundaries and change color to adapt to their environment. When feeling threatened, they become invisible to blend in.

    Chameleons don’t have boundaries

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  • Why is it that some highly successful and intelligent individuals suffer from crippling anxiety? Anxiety is our imagination gone awry.

    Is anxiety just our imagination gone awry?

    READ ARTICLE
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