The resistance to accepting love often shows up in everyday situations. Are you comfortable receiving and relishing from others?
Love that is.
When we’re so used to being love givers, a.k.a. caretakers, it’s so discombobulating to be on the receiving end of it. This feeling of resistance shows up in everyday situations, like when someone holds the door for you or helps you with your packages. Do you say, “Thanks, but no thanks,” and flex your biceps? Do you tense up when someone hugs you because you’re surprised by the gesture? If someone offers you a compliment, do you feel like you owe them one to keep it even? When you finally accept help, do you try to make it as convenient for the other person to the point of sabotaging your original plans?
Are you uncomfortable with change?
All of these reactions may be signs that you’re not comfortable receiving good wishes and love from others. You may be used to being the one to shower others with love. Even though you’ve been waiting for others to show you that you matter, it may still feel off. It may be a sign that you’re used to being in control, prefer to do things on your own, or, most importantly, are uncomfortable with change.
You deserve to accept love too.
Receiving and relishing in love from others is a part of letting your guard down. Trusting that their feelings and actions are genuine and that they really wanted to, out of the kindness of their heart. When we take care of others and show love, we may be functioning from a certain mindset. This is the mindset that we are only worthy of being in others’ presence if we can offer something to them. We are only worth the amount we do for them. When we accept love and affection, it can feel like we’re not doing anything.
Receiving love, even though it seems passive, is an active part of being in any relationship. You are sending a message to the other person that they matter to you. You are acknowledging and accepting that you trust them enough to let them into your heart. The next time someone does something nice for you, allow yourself to switch roles for the moment. Take a deep breath, take a step back, and tell yourself, “they are doing this because they love me” or “they are just trying to help.”